Thursday, May 19, 2005
Me so hungee...
I'm Brandon. I'm 25, the youngest of the team members, in the dark gray shirt above. As my first post, I think it is important to note that I am hungry. A few nights ago my wife and I were discussing the issue of hunger with some neighbors, as I can think and speak of little else. They noted that they were as hungry as I was, but I quickly corrected them. They do not know the hunger that an obese food addict on a low-calorie, low-carb, low-fat diet knows. That is a very special hunger, the type of hunger so powerful that when your stomach growls, you draw stares from across the parking lot.
It has been almost four weeks since I started my diet and exercise regimen. Some people ask if I miss certain foods. I don't really run up against cravings for certain foods, just quantities. I miss lots of food. Why? I clearly remember the feeling of eating too much, and the agonizing nausea that entails. Each time I ate, I would sit down with the thought that somehow my body demanded that I "supersize it". It was not for a movie, project, or experiment on my health. I just liked to eat 2 pounds of french fries with my cheeseburgers, screw the consequences.
Between losing the convenience of fast food, new braces, and the unappealing menu of veggies & lean meat, I find myself skipping meals just so I don't have to eat foods I don't want. Strange, about a third of my waking day is devoted to the exercise part of this program, but I am so food-fixated that my attention lies mostly there.
I've been asked if it's hard to stick to the diet. No. It is hard to be on the diet, and that is completely different. Guys are wired a certain way, I think. We have a big on/off switch for decisions like this. I'm switched to Diet Mode. Cheating is not even a temptation. This has been true for the guys on all our teams. The temptation is to quit entirely, and after two weeks of losing only 3 pounds per week, I can feel myself questioning my own strength. I can't be the only one going through this right now, out of 800 contestants.
Maybe we could start a support group, "People That are Beginning to Gnaw on Their Own Arms Anonymous (PTBGTOAA)".